Being a sysadmin is definitely not for the average human being. You have to always be ready to help people, fight hackers, use tech gadgets … actually, a sysadmin’s typical day sounds a lot like the life of a superhero! But even superheroes have a dark side.
We asked our sysadmin community to share some naughty things they’ve ever done — or keep doing. Naturally, their responses will remain anonymous due to the delicacy of the topic!
Please enjoy this selection of naughty little things even the nicest sysadmins do:
Bring down an IT system
It has happened to most of us: You make one wrong move and boom! — the whole network is down. What’s the best strategy in this case? Fix the issue as fast as possible and never admit it was your fault. More than a few sysadmins admitted to this tactic:
- “One naughty sysadmin thing I have done was unplug power from a network switch because I needed to change where it was plugged in, and it took a segment of the network down. I told the end users that I didn’t know what happened.”
- “I once rebooted the wrong node in a Windows cluster (the interface had not refreshed and I selected the wrong node). One of the hosted VMs affected was an RDS host. All of a sudden 40 users got kicked out. I didn’t admit to the subsequent callers that it was my fault.”
- “The naughty thing I did was reboot an Exchange server while mailboxes were being migrated to a new database. Never again.”
- “I accidentally wiped a virtual disk and had to stay up all night restoring from backups.”
- “Sometimes server reboots just happen, you know?”
Sell out for snacks
Snacks and energy drinks are a sysadmin’s main fuel. No wonder they are the easiest way to bribe a sysadmin!
- “When users would get their annual HIPAA or security training, I provided ‘assistance’ to anyone who needed it. Does it count that I only did this for those providing me with tasty snacks?”
- “I’ve helped quite a few people also — told them I like Dr. Pepper and What-a-Burger. LOL!”
- “As for being naughty, does dropping hints of favorite snacks, drinks or anything Seahawks — and users providing such favorite items — count? Somehow those users make it to the ‘priority’ list quite often.”
Play jokes on users
You have to admit, users were made for playing jokes on. Plus, they have to pay for their not-so-smart questions (“How did it happen? I didn’t touch anything!”), annoying requests (“Fix my printer / coffeemaker!”) and careless eating. A good sysadmin joke educates users and make them better.
- “I once flagged a user to require a password change — 4 times in one day…. Meh, it was good practice for him.”
- “If a user even has a hint of a risky login, I disable their account with no warning. Mwahahahahaha!”
- “When I would go around the buildings to work on helpdesk ticket issues, I would see teachers’ laptops unlocked, so I would open a text editor and type the teachers a note. I would say that had it been a student instead of me, they could have opened the student info system gradebook and changed grades for anyone in those classes, or sent emails as if they were the teacher. I would then add the teacher’s email address to our phishing campaign so that they would get more frequent phishing test emails.”
- “I printed and posted a Certificate of Failure when a coworker brought down the file server.”
- “I removed a user that annoys me from all servers — which was counterproductive.”
- “I put a note on the printer telling everyone it’s now voice activated and to say loudly, “Print one copy.”
- “It wasn’t me who put dead batteries in a user’s mouse repeatedly over the course of a week!”
Be sloppy with passwords
Yes, we all remember that “passwords are the keys to the kingdom” and so forth. But naughty sysadmins also know that rules are made for breaking. Why bother inventing a new password when the old one look so good and familiar?
- “The naughtiest thing I do is <whisper>reuse passwords</whisper>.”
- “I am guilty of … reusing passwords (sssshhhhhhhh).”
- “I must hang my head in shame when I say this, but I have reused passwords.”
Lie about not being naughty
One of the naughtiest things sysadmins can do is fail to admit their naughty behavior. We know quite well what sysadmin’s life is — full of pressure, careless users, constant cyber threats. Being naughty is a natural response to all the stress of the life. Just admit it!
- “I never do anything naughty, I am a perfect angel, and if anyone tells you different, they are liars, LIARS, I TELL YOU!!!!!”
- “Cut corners? Or network cables? Nah … I never do that. ;)”
- “I never do anything untoward in my admin role — honest!”
- “Only Santa can judge me!”
- “I’m nice! I brought coffee and donuts into the office!”
Indeed, sometimes, it feels very good to be bad!
